OMFG, "A" has been texting for a couple of days now and WHY I even answer is just beyond ME!!! He hasn't said one kind word and continuously asks for me to buy him shit.
Briefly what happened is: - about 6weeks ago he went into total DICK mode. He was hungry and tired and cranky and was yelling at me for not being able to bring him food fast enough. This was AFTER he called me and told me he was feeling lazy and didn't want to get out of bed yet - "Can you come to me instead of meeting at the gym?" I were supposed to meet at the gym at 830 but after his call I took my time and made him a healthy juice, packed him a lunch and headed out to him. It was like 845 when I told him I was on my way and he got all pissed off because I was taking too long. I'm like "Are you fucking kidding me????? OK, forget it - I'm going to the gym without you" So I did, I just went and worked out and left him there. (That is what I do when he goes into dick mode) I was planning on taking him shopping or getting a pedicure or something after the gym because he likes to do that. I went without him and got a pedicure, I texted and told him - "I'm getting your pedicure and when I'm done I'm going to fill my tank with YOUR gas." He's tells me "Good for you!!!" What an ass!!!!
So that was a Wednesday. He didn't talk to me for days after that and by the weekend I'm a bit freaked out. I ask him "Are we broke up now? Is it time? Do I need to go to a 12 step "A" program to recover from breaking up with you?" LOL, that was always our joke because I'm so hopelessly in love with this jerk. He texts me and says "We will start fresh next week." So what the fuck does that mean exactly? I don't even know so I stop texting - just take a deep breathe and let it go.
Monday I'm driving to work and I get a text from him that says "Did you buy my mask" (Long story but he always wants SOMETHING and when he behaves I buy it for him). I answer "no". He says "What about my pills" I answer "UM, NOOOOO!!!!!" Then he says "Whatever, fuck you then, I'm out." So I say "OK, Thank you for the time we had"
AND THAT WAS THAT!!!! 6 FUCKING WEEKS AGO.
No calls, no texts to contact no nothing. I was all fucked up the weekend I was in limbo but after I told him OK, I felt better. I wasn't all sad and emotional, I didn't cry, I didn't feel like my heart was breaking in two and that I wouldn't survive the day. I actually felt a bit like "WHAT FUCKING EVER!!!!!"
The past six weeks have been completely drama free for me. Really nice - my protein lasted a whole month, the gas in my car lasts a whole week and there is money in my bank. I miss him, yes, but I don't feel lost or devastated or broken without him. I actually did my first threesome about 3 weeks ago and I'll tell you about that another time. Im not seeing anyone but I haven't quite been without attention so I've been good.
So this weekend I'm partying with friends at a big dance festival and I get a random text from Poncho - a guy we worked out with on occasion. I answered but knew right away that it was "A" telling him to text.
Sure enough on Monday morning I get a text from "A" - "What's up cougar, you over it yet?" What a dick - He asked if I wanted to go the gym and I said I didn't think so. Then when I'm AT the gym he texts and asked if I went already. I say I'm on cardio finishing up. He asks if I want to come and pick him up and go with him. I say no but if he wants to come to MY house I'll go with him to the gym here. He answers "How about I come to your house and fuck you?" (Now you have to understand the history here. He never wanted to fuck me - he only did it to make ME happy so I would buy him shit and be his personal cougar with a credit card.)
At some point I will write a story about our stupid relationship but that was the jilst of it. General agreement- Be nice, pay attention and FUCK me and I will buy you stuff and pay for your gas and be your personal cougar with a bank account. It worked for a bit but then I fell in love with him and well, it's history after that. LOL
So now it's been since Monday he has been texting me. Today is Thursday. I keep answering but haven't agreed to fuck him, to see him OR to buy him anything. I'm afraid that if I see him, it will all be over. I'll slip right back into the same bullshit again. But at the same time, I miss our stupid relationship - even if I know it's stupid.
Anyway, am I completely insane to want to see him? Is it normal to want something back that was so fucking dysfunctional to start with? I do it KNOWING I'm doing it. There are NO false intentions here.
Does that make me crazy or just a hopeless attention whore!!!!
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