Im in love with an ASSHOLE!!!!

OMFG, "A" has been texting for a couple of days now and WHY I even answer is just beyond ME!!!  He hasn't said  one kind word and continuously asks for me to buy him shit. 

Briefly what happened is: - about 6weeks ago he went into total DICK mode.  He was hungry and tired and cranky and was yelling at me for not being able to bring him food fast enough.  This was AFTER he called me and told me he was feeling lazy and didn't want to get out of bed yet - "Can you come to me instead of meeting at the gym?"  I were supposed to meet at the gym at 830 but after his call I took my time and made him a healthy juice, packed him a lunch and headed out to him.  It was like 845 when I told him I was on my way and he got all pissed off because I was taking too long.  I'm like "Are you fucking kidding me?????  OK, forget it - I'm going to the gym without you"  So I did, I just went and worked out and left him there.  (That is what I do when he goes into dick mode) I was planning on taking him shopping or getting a pedicure or something after the gym because he likes to do that.  I went without him and got a pedicure, I texted and told him - "I'm getting your pedicure and when I'm done I'm going to fill my tank with YOUR gas."  He's tells me "Good for you!!!"  What an ass!!!!

So that was a Wednesday.  He didn't talk to me for days after that and by the weekend I'm a bit freaked out.  I ask him "Are we broke up now?  Is it time?  Do I need to go to a 12 step "A" program to recover from breaking up with you?"  LOL, that was always our joke because I'm so hopelessly in love with this jerk.  He texts me and says "We will start fresh next week."  So what the fuck does that mean exactly?  I don't even know so I stop texting - just take a deep breathe and let it go.

Monday I'm driving to work and I get a text from him that says "Did you buy my mask"  (Long story but he always wants SOMETHING and when he behaves I buy it for him).  I answer "no".  He says "What about my pills"  I answer "UM, NOOOOO!!!!!"   Then he says "Whatever, fuck you then, I'm out."  So I say "OK, Thank you for the time we had"


AND THAT WAS THAT!!!!   6 FUCKING WEEKS AGO.

No calls, no texts to contact no nothing.  I was all fucked up the weekend I was in limbo but after I told him OK, I felt better.  I wasn't all sad and emotional, I didn't cry, I didn't feel like my heart was breaking in two and that I wouldn't survive the day.  I actually felt a bit like "WHAT FUCKING EVER!!!!!"

The past six weeks have been completely drama free for me.  Really nice - my protein lasted a whole month, the gas in my car lasts a whole week and there is money in my bank.  I miss him, yes, but I don't feel lost or devastated or broken without him.  I actually did my first threesome about 3 weeks ago and I'll tell you about that another time.  Im not seeing anyone but I haven't quite been without attention so I've been good.

So this weekend I'm partying with friends at a big dance festival and I get a random text from Poncho - a guy we worked out with on occasion.  I answered but knew right away that it was "A" telling him to text. 

Sure enough on Monday morning I get a text from "A" - "What's up cougar, you over it yet?"  What a dick - He asked if I wanted to go the gym and I said I didn't think so.  Then when I'm AT the gym he texts and asked if I went already.  I say I'm on cardio finishing up.  He asks if I want to come and pick him up  and go with him.  I say no but if he wants to come to MY house I'll go with him to the gym here.  He answers "How about I come to your house and fuck you?"  (Now you have to understand the history here.  He never wanted to fuck me - he only did it to make ME happy so I would buy him shit and be his personal cougar with a credit card.) 

At some point I will write a story about our stupid relationship but that was the jilst of it.  General agreement- Be nice, pay attention and FUCK me and I will buy you stuff and pay for your gas and be your personal cougar with a bank account.  It worked for a bit but then I fell in love with him and well, it's history after that.  LOL

So now it's been since Monday he has been texting me.  Today is Thursday.  I keep answering but haven't agreed to fuck him, to see him OR to buy him anything.  I'm afraid that if I see him, it will all be over.  I'll slip right back into the same bullshit again.  But at the same time, I miss our stupid relationship - even if I know it's stupid.


Anyway, am I completely insane to want to see him?  Is it normal to want something back that was so fucking dysfunctional to start with?  I do it KNOWING I'm doing it.  There are NO false intentions here.

Does that make me crazy or just a hopeless attention whore!!!!

The "Lifestyle"

So I met this guy that is involved in what is called "the lifestyle".  This is how the swingers refer to their lifestyles.  Now I've never done a threesome or been with a woman and this is something I'd like to knock off my bucket list before I'm too old.  I've done a little research on the matter and put up a profile on a swinger website but never met anyone I really wanted to actually have sex with, let alone several at a time.

 

Here is a little background into what I've done so far in regards to finding a way to ease my way into this lifestyle.  Like I said, I put up a profile on a swinger site looking for a couple that would invite me into the bedroom to show me something new.  Unfortunately,  if I'm going to be with a woman (I'm not gay, just curious) she would have to be HOT.  At least as hot or hotter than me anyway.  I've met women before that would show me a lesbian experience but my response is "EWWW".  So imagine how difficult it is to find a couple in which BOTH people are hot enough via pictures alone to consider having sex with on a first date.  Also, 98% of the people that responded to my profile were SINGLE MEN!!!!  I even clearly stated in my profile that if they were a single man, DO NOT CONTACT ME, single men are easily accessible to me on and off line so why would I go online searching for the bozos that answer my profile.  Not one single hot guy contacted me.  All old dorky, overweight, unattractive men.  I guess that's why they are there in the first place huh, sex is not easy for them to get.

 

Any way, I met and dated a man about 4 times that was actively involved in the life.  So he said.  He claimed to be an anti aging doctor and was looking for a playmate for him and his girl.  I met him but never his girl.  I kissed him a few times but that was it.  Not that great a kisser and no desire to see him naked.  He wouldn't introduce me to his girl or show me pics or take me to any of his parties unless I priced I was for real by having sex with him!  Well geez, sounded like bullshit to me so I stopped dating him.  

 

Then I met a girl that was bi and smashed to a man. She was hot in her pictures and we exchanged

numbers.  We charged via text for several wells before we actually met.  They lived about an hour away so it was difficult.  One weekend I drove up there to meet them at a local bar and meet her and her fiance. He was nice,  handsome for a young guy,  doable in my book for sure.  But her,  albeit she was cute but she was very plastic.  Had lots of work done to her face and it didn't look natural.  But worst of all she was really drunk! !! Loud, obnoxious,  just everything I find unattractive in a woman.  Needless to say,  I tolerated it for about 30 min and then said good bye and headed home.

After that I stopped actively seeking.  Kind of turned me off. Want long after that "A" and I started doing it again and then I was all focused on that for a while. 

 

Now I met another guy that days he is into the lifestyle.  He I very cute though and I already romped him a couple of times so we will see where it goes.  He is a very real, down to earth guy so this will be fun if nothing else.

 

I will keep you posted on whether or not this actually happens or not. 

Am I crazy to want to knock a threesome off my list of things to do before I die? Have YOU done it? ? Tell me a story. 

 

U can email it batshitcrazychick.readers@blogger.com.  if it's good I'll post it for u.

 

Change the names and dates to protect the innocent! !

Las Vegas for or the 4th!!!!

I'm getting ready to go to Vegas for the 4th of July weekend.  We go every year at this time for a big dance convention.  It's one of my daughters most favorite events of the year.  We are both very excited.  We have been planning it for several months. 

 

I contemplated taking "A" with us because he expressed a desire to go and I would like nothing more than to spend a fun weekend with my 2 favorite people in the world, "A" and my daughter. 

Unfortunately we are broke up so I'm glad I didn't make any real arrangements for him to go.  He is very unreliable and breaks up with me at the drop off a hat for nothing which is why I would never actually PAY anything for him to go without some sort of collateral.   I know,  sounds stupid,  but like I said before,  he is a real little bitch.  Can't trust him to follow through with anything.  Requires entirely too much care for a young stud. 

 

So I am going with my daughter, my ex boyfriend that I'm still friends with but don't sleep with any more and one of my favorite dance partners that I've been friends with for over 10yrs.   I slept with him once but he is very small.  Well,  he is a very small person,  only 5 feet tall,  and everything is pretty much proportionate.   I love him dearly though,  just not sexually.

 

My Dance friend from up north is going too. She is a bigger cougar than me and lots of fun to party with.  It will b crowded in the room but I think it will b lots of fun. 

 

U think I'm crazy for spending 4 days in a condo with my daughter as well as 2 men I've slept with in the past? I don't think so. 

 

I will write a post when I get back and tell u all about my crazy weekend. 

I think I would like to hear some stories from my readers.   I don't even know if I HAVE any yet but this blog is getting hits so I know SOMEONE has stopped by. 

 

Give me some comments.  Vote and tell me if u think I'm crazy or not.  Interact with me. 

Whoever you are.  Tell me your crazy stories and send them to batshitcrazychick.readers@blogspot.com.   I'll read it and if it's worthy i'll post it.  I would love to hear from you.